Supposed to

June 2, 2011

I was talking to a couple a few weeks back, about their wedding plans. Some members of the family were displeased that they wouldn’t be having, say, favors at their tables. And my awesome couple (yes, they’re my couple) said, “Why? Why do we need to have favors at the reception?”

“Well… you’re supposed to.”

Folks, I hate “supposed to.” I’m not saying you shouldn’t embrace those traditions that mean something to you, I’m just saying that you should drop those that don’t and not feel a shred of guilt about it. I get asked pretty frequently how certain situations are supposed to go. Which side is the bride’s side? Where does the boutonniere go? When do we cut the cake? My answer is always, “whatever you want.” I can tell you how things are traditionally done, but I can’t tell you how they should be done.

It’s your wedding. You can do it any way that you want to. One of my brides is having a Funfetti cake. One couple went with a pie bar. One is having their reception in what used to be a bomb shelter. We had an impromptu sing-a-long. You aren’t somehow less married because you had your ceremony outside, or wore a pink dress, or skipped the dollar dance. The whole point is to get married, in a way that’s meaningful to the two of you, and to celebrate that. That’s all you’re “supposed to” do.

 

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5 Responses to “Supposed to”

  1. […] talked about these two on the blog before. They’re a very cool couple, and had so many unique touches to their […]

  2. […] thanks to John for doing the interview. He actually brought up some things about wedding-related hoopla that I’ve talked about here before, and that some other wedding photographers have gotten a […]

  3. […] talked about these two on the blog before. They’re a very cool couple, and had so many unique touches to their […]

  4. Laura said

    Love it!

  5. Christina Montemurro said

    Great post, Caroline! I couldn’t agree more.

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